You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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