Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
