the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
