Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
