i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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