Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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