We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
