dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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