i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
