So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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