Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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