We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
