she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
