You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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