I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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