hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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