u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
