So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize