I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize