Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize