Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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