i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
