on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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