um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
