Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
