Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize