They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
