11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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