her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
