In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
