A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
