the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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