you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
