He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
my poor anus
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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