apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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