Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
