He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
