google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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