I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
