I heard we made out
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
