I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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