Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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