perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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