I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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