Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found

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(217): View more from Illinois

What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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(406): View more from Montana

What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?

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(419): View more from Ohio

He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?

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(310): View more from California

Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?

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(573): View more from Missouri

Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.

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