Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I can't find my pants or my car

  (813): View more from Florida

  I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...

  (561): View more from Florida

  ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.

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  (813): I can't find my pants or my car (813): I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell... (561): ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal. http://tfl.nu/nq8v
  Replies (9) Good night (1343) Bad night (534)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand

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  (215): it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand http://tfl.nu/1wqs
  Replies (11) Good night (3885) Bad night (613)
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  (925): View more from California

  Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.

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  (925): Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab. http://tfl.nu/xv4n
  Replies (19) Good night (5017) Bad night (1082)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.

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  (651): i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors. http://tfl.nu/w7i6
  Replies (10) Good night (3452) Bad night (723)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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  (908): Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won http://tfl.nu/nhsb
  Replies (208) Good night (2185) Bad night (4164)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  This dude is being a total douche

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps

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  (713): This dude is being a total douche (832): Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps http://tfl.nu/sy46
  Replies (10) Good night (3765) Bad night (902)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.

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  (616): Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson. http://tfl.nu/7vwr
  Replies (16) Good night (1041) Bad night (4489)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it

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  (717): no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it http://tfl.nu/l891
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (1381)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

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  (203): Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home http://tfl.nu/rxky
  Replies (4) Good night (2035) Bad night (727)
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  (707): View more from California

  You rang?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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  (707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm
  Replies (15) Good night (2294) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.

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  (508): Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country. http://tfl.nu/6o4g
  Replies (16) Good night (990) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.

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  (913): I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed. http://tfl.nu/4bjv
  Replies (6) Good night (770) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

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  (301): Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows. http://tfl.nu/8j3i
  Replies (2) Good night (987) Bad night (306)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.

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  (520): Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties. http://tfl.nu/5b50
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING

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  (410): SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING http://tfl.nu/00e7
  Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (775)

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