OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.