Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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(312): View more from Illinois

I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.

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(347): View more from New York

I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.

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(310): View more from California

She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.

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(817): View more from Texas

When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?

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(647): View more from Ontario

I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed

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