you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
