she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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