I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
