EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
