new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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