i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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