He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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