the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
