Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
