She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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